Adzuna and Milkround’s Graduate of the Year Competition 2013

Graduates! It’s back! And this time it is bigger and better than ever before. Adzuna has teamed up with top graduate website Milkround to bring you “Graduate of the Year 2013.” Together we are offering you the chance to win a JOB, some CASH and a foot in the door.

The rest is up to you!

1.                An internship with a top UK company (including eBay, L’Oreal, Sony & Google)

2.                A cash prize of £1000

3.                A CV clinic with a top UK entrepreneur

4.                The Illustrious Crown of “Graduate of the Year”

 

The UK employment market is tougher than ever, especially for graduates fresh and eager from university. Competition for graduate positions continues to rise in the UK with over 50 applicants for every available graduate job. Unemployment among 18-25 year olds is the highest it’s been for decades and graduates are finding it tougher than ever to land an entry level position. But there are glimmers of hope in the market, with top employment companies Milkround and Adzuna teaming up to launch a nationwide campaign to find Britain’s “Graduate of the Year 2013”.
If you are a recent or soon-to-be graduate from a recognised UK university then we want to hear from you. We are looking for the brightest, sparkiest, gutsiest individual around.  Whether you excel in arts, music, sports, academia, languages or are an outstanding student union member, leader, or social contributor, we want to hear about you and why you deserve to win.
To enter go to Graduate of the Year 2013 and tell us briefly why you think you are worthy of this magnificent prize.  Deadline is 1st July 2013 and the overall winner will be announced at the Award Ceremony on the 1st August 2013.

Don’t believe us, check out the success of last year’s winner Leo Anthias. Following his internship at Passion Capital, Leo has since gone on to found his own company, Verse (making PowerPoint collaboration painless).

Remember not everyone can be a winner but that doesn’t mean you can’t land your dream job too.  Check out our blog for great interview tips, stellar advice for graduates, thousands of graduate jobs, internships and more vacancies than you can shake a stick at.

Join the chat on twitter: #graduateoftheyear

Best (or Should that be Worst?...) Lawyer Jokes

The Legal profession stands out as one which generates a lot of jokes at its own expense.  But since the financial crisis of 2008, it has also stood out as one which has become increasingly tricky to enter.  Potential lawyers face the multiple hazards of shrinking numbers of job opportunities, lengthy and expensive postgraduate training periods, unpaid internships, under-employment, gender discrimination* and the like.

My guess is that those prospective lawyers need a bit of cheering up, so what better excuse for providing a selection of favourite lawyer jokes, having separated the wheat from much chaff and cut down on the 'shaggy dog' elements:

Q:  What is the difference between a solicitor and a barrister?
A:   One's like a crocodile and the other's like an alligator.

Q:  What's the difference between a dead fox on the road and a dead lawyer
A:  There's skidmarks next to the fox.

Q:  Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
A:  Professional respect.

Graveyard tombstone: Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.
Passer-by: It doesn't look big enough for two people

Client waiting to appear in court:  How long do you think this business is going to last?
Lawyer:  For me about two hours, for you about five years.

Lawyer:  If you want my honest opinion...
Client:  I don't want your honest opinion, I want your professional advice.

Q:  Which side should a tired lawyer lie on?
A:  The one with the most money.

Lawyer:  Have you told me the whole truth about this incident?
Client:  Of course!  You can add the lies in later.

Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.

Q:  Do you have a criminal lawyer in this town?
A:  Yes, all of them are.

"I hereby give, grant and convey to you all and singular my interest, right, title and claim of and in this orange, together with all its rind, skin, juice, pulp and pips, and all right and advantage therein with full power to bite, suck or otherwise eat or consume the said orange, or give away the said orange, with or without its rind, skin, juice, pulp or pips subject to any agreement subsequently introduced or drawn up to this agreement." (Lawyer offering an orange to a colleague)

God: I'm going to sue you for trespassing in heaven.
Devil:  And where do you expect to get a lawyer from?

Lawyer (awaking from major surgery):  Why are the curtains drawn?
Nurse: Well there's a fire across the road and we didn't want you to think you had died.

Hospital Visitor (to very ill lawyer):  Why are you reading the bible?
Lawyer: I'm looking for loopholes.

Lawyer's wife:  This room needs new wallpaper.
Lawyer:  Don't worry, dear, I'm doing a divorce case at the moment.  Once I've broken up their home, we can redecorate ours.

Butcher:  Your dog came into my shop this morning and stole a turkey.
Lawyer:  How much was the turkey worth?
Butcher:  About £10.
Lawyer: Well, my fee for legal advice is £50, so just send me a cheque for £40 and we'll call it quits.

Irish Barrister:  The offence was committed at half past twelve at night on the morning of the following day.

Icelandic Barrister:  Where were you on the night of December 3rd to March 2nd?

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three, the rest are all true.

Unless, of course, you know better.  Please feel free to add a comment below with your favourite lawyer joke.

*see end of previous post on The Futuretrack Survey